Losing a Loved One






Losing a Loved One




Do you ever ask yourself what life is all about?


For many years of my life I worked with life and death issues as many people who are involved in the medical professions do.  I grew up in a veterinary practice and on a daily basis I was conscious of the little lives coming into this world and also of those who had chosen to leave. Working for ten years as a veterinary nurse I consoled and counselled those who had had to part with their beloved pet and friend.

Those of us that work with animals or have them in our lives seem to me have chosen to work more consciously with the issues of life and death.  Many many times when someone has lost an animal I have heard them say never again, I can’t go through that again, it was too painful. But then somehow a little creature finds its way into their life and once more the heart opens and they blossom with love for their new companion.

I believe that we come into this life to gain experiences, we bring nothing into this life of a material nature and we take nothing out, therefore it seems to me as a spiritual being having a human experience ~ experience is what we seek.

Life and death issues force us to face our mortality, that we are not here forever, despite what the ego thinks, and the ego fears death. To contemplate the immortality of spirit is comforting, that there may be part of us that goes on forever.

I seem to have faced the fears of losing someone I love many times and I have lost those that I love to this physical existence.  Each time it has been a heart rendering experience that has reminded me of the fact that over some things we just do not have control. Just recently whilst the sun was in Scorpio and the during my Chiron return* I had to face once again my fears of losing someone I loved.

As I plunged into the depths of the emotion it was like being on a white water raft ride, at times I thought I was going to drown and I grasped onto the rocks in my physical existence to stop me being washed away and in an attempt to ground myself. As I struggled to control the full force of my emotions I had no choice but to surrender to a force far great than me and I became mindful of the process.

As I sit here today and write this the wind is howling and the rain is pouring down from a grey grey sky.  I can’t help but think how the emotions we experience on the human level are like the storms that have and are affecting our beautiful Mother Earth ~ Gaia. For in truth we are the microcosm within the macrocosm as within so without.  Considering the recent tragedy in the Philippines, could this be part of Mother Earths call for help?

Our thoughts prayers, hearts are sent out to those people who have lost those that they love and our aid to help those that are surviving in difficult times.

As I searched to find my balance in my emotional storm I realised what I needed was grounding and focusing and a real reminder to be grateful for this present moment for truly that is all that we have.  We are elemental beings and are affected by the elements within us. Astrology divides the 12 signs in the 4 elements of Fire, Earth, Water and Air.  If we work with these elements within our charts we can help ourselves find balance.  For example a good homeopathic remedy for emotional issues could be Nat Mur and this remedy in its crude form is salt. The waters of the seas are full of salt; we have to maintain the correct salt levels in our tissues.  When we cry our tears are salty. If the water element gets out of control we could become hysterical. To balance the element of water we need earth, for another astrological example if we are a water sign (cancer, Pisces etc.) then we may be balanced by an earth sign like Taurus or Capricorn.  Think of a jug of water, the water is calm and contained with the jug.  Then think of water being flushed down a drain.  Water does need to flow but when it gets out of control as we have seen in recent floods it is a very powerful force.  So too are our emotions and by working with the elements , astrology and homeopathy, EFT and more we can begin to consciously take more control and bring ourselves back into balance.

There are many ways to deal with grief; we have to start by acknowledging that this is what we are feeling. It is a very natural process to grieve for something/someone that we have loved and valued that is no longer in our physical existence with us.  I have found that each time we have to deal with a personal grief it can trigger previous episodes of grief and it has somewhat a cathartic effects as things come up for healing.

It seems that what has brought me the most comfort is in my  growing faith that we are spiritual beings.

When I worked in a veterinary practice with all those animals, each time I work with clients or spend time with people I am constantly reminded that when spirit is in residence in form be that animal or human, there is a presence an animation, a light a certain something that I really at this moment do not have words for.  It’s like a candle which is lit.

In contrast when a spirit leaves a body and the person animal is termed as dead it is then that you come to realise that in that body there is nothing there.  The candle has gone out. The body is like an empty shell an empty vehicle.

When I sat with my dad 25 years or more ago as he died I called in the angels to help him cross, even though at that point in time I knew very little about angels, that was what I felt  I needed to do.  When we went back to view the body some 10 minutes or so after his spirits departure I was shocked by what remained as it bore no real resemblance. At that moment I became aware that we must be so much more than the physical, this material body that we exist within.  When I worked in a hospital and had to walk through the morgue on several occasions, the bodies that I passed could easily have been made of wax, there was no light, no spirit, just empty shells.

For each and every creature that has been in my care I have noted the same thing~ as spirit leaves, as the light goes, all that is left behind is an empty vessel.

I am so grateful to all those experiences, to those spirits that have shown me, reminded me of what spirit is.

It is never easy to lose a loved one, how can it be, when we have loved and been loved, and my heart goes out to all those out there that have lost a loved one. May each and every one of us find peace in this process.  For that is what it is a process.  We arrive on this planet at a given time and depart at a given time and in between we have life.  Let’s celebrate that life, that spark that spirit within all of us.

Who knows when we next have to face the challenge of losing a loved one.  May we take comfort in the fact that their spirit is going home and although we no longer have them in our physical existence, that there is a part of them that goes on forever. May we find the strength within ourselves to be able to release them to go home to source.

 Some of the most useful techniques/ tools that I have found to help with loss are

  •  Bach Rescue Remedy


  • Homeopathic remedies, Ignatia and Nat Mur


  • EFT and Matrix Reimprinting


  • Mindfulness, Prayer and Meditation


  • A big cuddle from someone you love and a  chat, compassion and understanding.


 From the spirit in me to the spirit in you

I wish you peace, blessings and compassion.

Jane xxxx